First move within San Francisco complete! I’m now on a sweet little street in the middle of town. Cute apartment, cute room, and another cute doggie for Nina to play with. I hope to stay here for at least a year, but I don’t make those kinds of promises any more.
It is exciting to play the part of a leaf in the wind and go with things. Except, there is often a high cost and while others have the stability of roots and solid ground under their feet, I have a catalog of experiences to stand on, and occasionally trip over.
Oh yeah randomness. Guess that’s what I do when I can’t sleep, which happens a lot lately. Think up nonsensical useless crap.
I’ve moved across country, my crap has arrived, all five boxes of it, I now have an address. Well, as of tomorrow I’ll have an address. Job is hopefully going to shortly follow for me and the rest of the unemployed masses (yay recession/depression!).
I miss Counter Culture froyo, oh yeah, baby, with Oreos and coconut and strawberries.
More on the random thought bit - I haven’t slept hardly at all last night, saw the sun rise, been drunk, gotten sober, boy my head’s sure fucked right now. Which is not the worst place to be, for me, not at all. Aw hell, maybe I’m not exactly sober.
I really want to rant and rave about how Jerkface caused a scene at the NY Decom this past Saturday, coming up to me while I’m talking to someone I haven’t seen since Black Rock City, out of nowhere, yelling at me about how I mistreated him. Then bragging to our friends about how he confronted me, when I actually shut him down and told him to go away, that he’s not to do that to me. Words can’t express how much I hate this person. It’s also mixed with disappointment at myself for letting him treat me like a disposable object for months, for having him behave as though he were entitled to, and be unappreciative of, ANYTHING good and giving about me. Yeah, this one gets the asshole prize.
Well, thanks Jerkface, yet again, for showing me exactly how awful, immature, egotistical and obnoxious a person you really are. I haven’t missed you for a second.
Last night I dreamt that my family’s house was haunted, and it would change dramatically depending on whether I was on momentarily good or bad terms with the ghosts. That had been like prior dream family houses, except this is the first time it was hautned.
Incredibly, at one moment the house was full of beds, white cloth, and bright white light, the kind which illuminates dust particles in the air. It was glowing with joy and love and limitless positive possibilities. I thought how I’d want to capture that in film, and how I’d try to recreate the feeling and take a picture after bringing my camera over. Then, it would not come back again.
At some point as a kid I learned how to control my dreams. If they began to get frightening or negative, I developed the ability to stop it and through simple strength of will if not change the turn of events, then stop the negative progression. I did have to do that here. The beauty of the good moment is what remains with me now.
Every time before I move I have a period of dreams about houses, and they’re positive and exciting.
